True Change

Ever said to your self this is the day I am going to change............. From this moment on my life is going to be diffrent!

For each of us we have diffrent things that we need to have changed in our lives.
For some it is to stop drinking, smoking, eating, lying, fighting, beating, yelling, cheating.
Sin....... We all want to stop sinning... We try, we fail, we try again.... We work up more streaght to be better a good person. We sin again... we try yet again this time will be diffrent, we fail again harder.
How is it we can have true change in our lives? What is the key to stop the sin ball from rolling over us? I have been giving this alot of thought. Why do we fail? How there are just those people who can never seem to never get it right. They cry, they make promise to never do that....... again..... Time passes and oops I did it again.. it is not just Brittny Spears that sings that song.... We all do.
How come it seems like for some true change never last? Is it maybe that true change never really came? They call on Jesus to save them, they stop what ever it is that needs to be stopped...... for a while but then there they do it again but this time it is worse...... They just can not seem to change..... I have been thinking about a girl i know who fits this picture like a glove.....
Why can't she seem to get it right???? Her own words told me why she never gets things right.. I will fix my life! I will get things back togather.. It is My life, This is mine to fix. I don't need anyone.
I don't know about you but Me, myself and I have gotten into more troble then I can count!
That is the problem we have We always want to fix our lives. I got into this mess and I will get out.. Gee smart huh? You have been driving this boat and look how great a job you did? You did not see the mess coming how can you see the way out? My dad has a fav cartoon that I love. It goes like this.. A little man is standing at the end of his boat. He yells back I have found the Enemy and We are He! How true is that? The person in my life that messes up things more offen in my walk with God is me. True Change comes when I get on my knees in a Alter moment with God can say I can do nothing to change mylife but ask you to change my heart.
Without him we can do nothing.. We create so many messes in our lives because of our heart we have to allow God to create in us a new heart. Not just once but daile.
I have found the enemy and We are He We can not have true change until we come to a place where we give up trying and turn things over to the one who over came sin once for all. Jesus....

I married because of Maine and JT?

I am heading out in a few hour to one of my fav places. Maine! Wayne and I honeymooned there but our love affair with the great state of Maine started long before that.
I felt the need to tell this story today about how Maine and James Taylor are the reason I married Wayne, well ok two of the reason I married him.
It started one a warm June night here in Vermont. Wayne and I were at a stand still in our friendship. He was ready to move on and start the road to marriage. I on the other hand was in full freak out mode because my heart and Spirit knew that was Gods plan. It was getting the rest of my mind and body out of the way. I have to state that before Wayne and I started dating my heart had been broken. I was very scared of starting that road of love again. I had been So SO sure that the heart breaker was the ONE! Boy was i wrong and I thank God ever day that he does not always gives us the things we ask for. Enough said on that. Wayne was my best friend and I knew that you should always marry your best friend. But yet my heart did not want to go there. I needed to know that this was Gods ONE for me. I needed a sign! So how does James Taylor and Maine fit in to this love story? God is a man that I think likes to giggle at this children! He does things for the sake of showing that he is God and he can! Wayne and I both love James Taylors Music! We have worn out many many cds of his. His tunes have gone with us and been with us thur many many times. Some good some bad. Like us James is a big fan of the great state of Maine. Had even written lyrics about it in songs. Wayne and I had often joked about how we would get married and go to Maine to see James play. That was long before we dated. We would leave notes for each other like I have dollar and fiffty cents want to go to maine and see James? Silly things! But you know God is always listening to us even in our sillyness.
We had a blow up, knock down,drag out fight! Wayne was wanting me to say that I was in for the long haul, a lifetime, I was holding back. Then Wayne threw up his hands and in a half prayer half heart break and said God give her a sign any sign that this is right that I am the man for her. I don;t know what kind of sign Like James Taylor in Maine kind of sign. He started the truck and her rode without a word being said and made our way to a ice cream shop to met up with some friends. With in ten mintutes of being there a waiteres that we are friends with came up and said Hey maybe you guys would want to go? Go where we asked? OH I have two extra tickets to see James Taylor in Maine in two weeks. Would you like them? I choked on ice cream and knew that my God was a man who liked to show that he was God and if you would not hear his voice he would speak louder. Thanks God for using two of my fav things to show me that you are God and are able to move things and people in our lives to show us your plan! So yes we went and yes we had a wonderful time. Funny thing is we have seen James a few other times live but never again in Maine. Maybe one day. Off to pack for the Great state of Maine..

Thank you Ben Stein

So i went to go see Ben Steins new movie yesterday and left the movies feeling dumb! Boy was that a smart movie . This movie was filled to the brim with smart people and some really really dumb smart people.. lol.. I love Ben Stein he seems to have no fear of asking the tough (???)s
I do have to say that one thing that struck me was one man in the movie who said that it was his hope that religion would someday become something fun people did on the weekends! That had no real impact in their everyday lives. That believing in God was a fairtale. My sister in law put it best when speaking of this man. Boy would i hate to be that guy on Judgment day! You got that right Hannah. But it struck me that we live in a world where the smartest people in the world, the men and woman who are shaping the minds and hearts of next world leaders. That they want us to become a world in which Faith or Believeing in God or any other higher power is that same as a Disney movie. Just make believe, A fairy tale, not real. My heart pains for those who have taken the lie that we are alone in this world. That there is not a loving God who cares for even the smallest birds wings. After watching this film it made me want to run into the street and tell every young people who is getting ready to attend collage and say don't believe the lie. God is real he did make you for a reason. There is reason for your life here on earth.

Christians we better get out of our pews and into the streets. We need to let the whole world that there is a God a living God not a fairly tale god that lives inside books. But that the God of heaven and earth who made the foundtions of the earth is alive and well and active in the world around us.The God w ho set the stars into heaven is alive and well and longing to be in their lives. Thank you Ben Stein for giving me insite into the worlds view for a moment. Not a place i would want to live. Alone and alive for no reason. I am So greatful i know the God who knew me before i was formed in my mothers womb.

Christmas music in April?

My daughter Grace just put on a Christmas Cd. I laughed and said Christmas in April? She said yea mom I like it! Funny how we don't think about singing the praises of our Lords birth but on dec 25th? Or maybe at least the weeks following up to it. But the truth is that we should always be singing out to the world that born this day in the city of David a Savoir who is Christ the Lord. The King who has come to save us from the sin that holds us in chains! How great is our God that he loves us So much to send his son to us not just on Dec 25th for a season but for a lifetime to save all. He died once for all! I for one am greatful that the reason for our Christmas season is not just a season but a an eternty... Thanks Grace for reminding Mom..

Jesus name replaced?

I watched a clip from American idol over the weekend . I got so mad i fumed around the kicthen. Wayne told me i was getting upset over something i could do nothing about and that i should have seen coming anyways. So what is it that mad me SO mad.. American idol has a show every season where they raise money for diffrent charity orgs. A worthy cause from a show that is worth nothing most days. On this show were to sing a inperational song of their choice. It was wonderful and alot of pretty moving songs were sung. To close the show to my surprise they chose a worship song we sing at our church. Shout to the Lord is the name of the song it is a Hillsong United Sydney and Darlene Zschech. The words of this song start like this. My Jesus my savoir Lord there is none like you. They sang every word of this song but one.
Jesus! They changed the word Jesus to Shepherd! Now don't get me wrong i am So happy that this song was sung on live Tv for millions and millions to hear but i guess the thing that rubs me the wrong way it that out of all the words to this song it is not, Lord ( because Lord can be alot of things not just one Lord) Not Shepherd ( which is just one who leads not the one true leader who cares for his sheeps needs) Not comfort, my shelter, Tower of refuge and strength, Because that still does not name who it is that is all those things to us. King? What king? King of what?
The whole world sings out praise to a nameless God.
Why is it that the name of Jesus is bloted out from live Tv like a curse word ( which you can say Jesus or God if it is in a curse word form on Live TV) But to sing out the praise of our Lord and Savoir Jesus Christ, The King and Kings and the Lord of Lords! My blood boils and my heart breaks for those that thing they can reach God by some other path then the Son Jesus.
I said to Wayne your right there is nothing i can do about this but i can procliem the name of Jesus loud and long and give thanks that my Lord does have a name and one day every knee shall bow and every tounge confess that Jesus Christ is Lord!!

Ah to be 18 again

Remember when you were 18 years old and had the whole world in fornt of you? The world at your hands for the taking. Today i sat with a group of young people all between the ages 16 to 19 years old. All either out of school or in their last year of high school. Life is grand at that age.
New jobs, new homes ,new friends a new life. No longer under the hand of parents. on your own. So i thought for a moment about myself at that age. What would i tell myself if i could have a good hour with my 18 year old self. This is what i came up with...

Listen you don't know everything. God is in control no matter how hard you try to control your life. Life is not easiser on your own. Home is always sweet no matter how much you are fighting with your Mom and Dad right now. They do know best!

What would you tell your self..?

Faith and Trust

What is the diffrence in Faith and Trust?
Is there any ?
That came up today with a friend who said their parter did not trust them. What is that saying about that person? They don't have Faith in the person to meet their needs to be what they said they would be.
How can you be in love with someone who does not have faith in you to be what you need?
Guess that is beyond me.
` I also think that when you are a Christian and married that you are not only trusting that person you marry but you are trusting God that he put you togather for life!
hat it is part of his plan for you. God will never give us more then we can handle. Spouse are a part of that too. Even if at times they may seem like more then we can handle.
The great thing is that as Christians we never have to handle things on our own. Paul wrote I can do all things thru Christ who gives me streaght! That is the best gift a marriage could ever have. Knowing that God is with us. I am one of the lucky ones who not only has faith in my spouse but in my God... Togather we can face anything even each others faults....

Carried to the table

I was listening to a group called LeeLand. I saw them preform a few months ago in Mass. They were great not at all my style but I really enjoyed the message they gave in song.
One song that stuck out to me is called Carried to the table it is the story of David and Mephibosheth you can read the story in the book of 2 Samuel chapter 9.
Mephibosheth was the son of Jonathan, he was crippled in both feet but yet David allowed him to sit and eat at the Kings table.
The words to Leelands song go like this.

I was carried to the table, Seated where I don’t belong, Carried to the table, Swept away by His love And I don’t see my brokenness anymore When I’m seated at the table of the Lord I’m carried to the table The table of the Lord

What a picture of what the Lord does for each one of us. In our broken sinful state he carrys us to his table. In his eyes we can no longer see our brokeness, our pain we are made whole at the table of the Lord. Each one of us comes to the Lords table in a diffrent state of being. Some broken by our own sin others yet by others sins. but yet each one of us takes the cup of wine to remember our Savoirs blood that reminds us that it is by his strips we are made whole. We take the bread to remember that it is only because his bones were broken that ours were restored.
If your broken today come sit at the table of the Lord and remember that it is because of his brokeness that we can be made whole. Thank you Lord for your table......

What stops us ?

What stops us? part two of being in Minstry..
So what is it that stops us from fullfilling the command to be in minstry? This So goes back to being a good christian and being a Great one... Anyone can be a Christian. In Mark 16:16 it says all you have to do is believe and be baptized and you will be saved. But what does it take in fact to be a great christian? That word great keeps sticking in my mind. Great! I do want to be great! Most Christians are good, so if i am just a good christian does that make me middle of the road? Like everyone else? The best of the worst? Cream of the Crap as my Dad would say!
Makes me think about the GREAT Commission
The Great commission is the last recorded personal instruction given by Jesus to His disciples. It's a calling from Jesus to all Christian to take action while on this earth. In case you were wondering the great commission can be found in the book of Matthew 28:18-20
And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Amen.
When i think of this story i always try and put myself in Jesus frame of mind. He was about to leave his friends for a long time. I always think of times in my life when i knew i was going to leave them and not see them for a long time. I always tell them i love them and that i will miss them, but more then that i tell them the most importian things to rememeber. Take Wayne when he leaves for a trip.. I always remember him to watch what he eats( for those of my readers that don't knwo he has type 2 he has to watchs his blood sugar) to make sure he rememeber to take his meds and on time.. Don';t forget to call the kdis befoer bedtime. Call you mother when you get there.
What am i telling him? I am telling him the most importian things he needs to do to be healthly. I think that was Jesus goal when he gave the great commission.
Most people believe that Jesus gave the great commission to bring the gospel to the whole earth. But God does not need us to fullfill his mission on the earth. He has invited us to join in the fun! Because he knows something we don't.
Most of the time we think of doing minstry , spreading the good news, witnessing, sharing Jesus, meeting the needs of others what ever you call it , as work, wasted time, to hard. It takes away from real life!
I hate to bust your bubble but a good friend of mine put it this way. Minstry for a Christian is not something we do in our live it should be our life.
The Great Commission, Jesus calls every Christian to step out in faith and spread the Good News. This is faith in action! People who obey this command change their spiritual lives forever!

Beans ? of the day

Beans ? of the day
Is being in full time Minstry a calling , a job, or a commandment?

No one wants to be seen nude

Beans view for the day
As I sit here on this cold cold morning it was -4 when Wayne left for work at 5am but it is up to a whole 10 now woo hoo.. I am drinking my cup of hot tea as i do every morning. I just read the paper and was sadden by one of the Obits i read.
Most of you know that Wayne is a dispatcher for bratt PD. He took a call for a 3 year old this week who got killed thur a very tracigic way at his home. It was no ones fault just one of those things. Kids play and sometimes they get hurt and sometimes they die. Now i am not in anyway down playing the saddess of this boys death. My heart breaks for his Mommy and Daddy. Parents should never have to lay to rest a child. I held my kids close to my heart after hearing this. You see i too understand how fast life can change and you can be facing death. When we were in a crash a few summers ago, I saw how fast life can slip out of your hands and there is nothing you can do to stop it. I am sure that the mother of this young boy did not wake up thinking she would lose her sweet boy. She was I guess like most moms , thinking about getting the wash done, Cleaning out the bathroom trash. What to make for dinner. She was thinking about life not death. I don't like to talk about death or even think about it. My grandmother is facing the end of her life. I can see it but i don't want to look at it. Death is not something anyone likes to look at. I have caused some of you readers of my blog to be upset or sadden by my lastest blogs. For that i wish i could tell you i am sorry but in truth i am not. I love all my friends more then i think you could know. I am not a warm and fussy person, never have been. I work on it i try and hug. ( I hate hugs from most people i am not a touchy feely kind of gal) I want my friends to look at the death in their life. Just as I don't like to look at my own sin, i understand why no one else does. But for me because i know what freedom there is in looking at death head on. I was talking last night with a friend about this, i put it like this. Its like driving by a bad car crash, you don't want to look but you have to. It hurts breaks your heart but somehow looking at death head on brings relief to your heart. When we face our sin like that, look at it head on, call it what it is, don;t blame anyone but ourself. There is freedom from the death that sin brings when we stop hiding. I think of Adam and Eve in the garden hiding from God. What freedom they had when they stood in fornt of God and confess their sin. We so many times run and hide, try to cover our sin with fig leafs. We are afraid to stand bare in fornt of God and let him or anyone else see our faults.
As much as it hurts the only way to get over death in our life is to face it. Grief sorrow, tears, let it out, talk about it. But on the other side of the coin, We the mournings have to be that mournings not be afaird to stand beside the one facing death and hold them just as God does with us. He did not run when we were in sin, He did not walk away from us when he lelf his side. He had true unconditional love for us. So many times we think calling sin sin, is a sin ( sorry that had to be said) Because in a way it pulls the fig leafs off us. No one wants to be seen nude...

Keeping it MAD REAL

Keeping it MAD REAL
I gueess i have a burr under my backside and i have to get it out! I have to say what is on my heart
Yesterday we had a great sermon at church on being GREAT for God not just good. If your a good Christian then it is easy to settle for being good and never work to be GREAT! To never do GREAT things for God only good things.
I have for the past few week been sicked by the bullins and comments and songs i have seen on SO many Christians on myspace!
Now i am not one to point out others faults without first dealing with myself. After listening to the sermon yesterday i have come to understand that i have been settling for being Good and not Great for God. I want to start to be great! To see God do Great things in my life and use me in a Great way. That is why i have to say what i am about to say.
I have to say that really my heart was moved by seeing so many of my young people who have put their arms around me and promise to live their lives for Jesus. NO matter the cost! SO i ask you today are you paying the cost to live your life for Jesus or are you just being good. Anyone can be good with out paying a cost. But to be Great and have great things happen in your life and in the lives of the people you love. It cost you! So many of you post things for all your friends to read., Cursing, what kind of lover you are? The new tattoo you defaced you body with. What kind of drunk you are. Your songs on your page are about having sex, smoking pot, cusing Gods name rather then procaiming the name of Jesus as Lord. Pictures of you in sexual clothes showing off your bodys. In a lip lock with your love!
My heart for you is this. How is it that you will in just a few months be asking these same friends to come to summer camp with you to praise God? How is it that some of you will ask these same friends to join you at church or youth group this very week? Because you want your friends to meet Jesus the man who changed your life. Did he? Are you diffent then the world? Or are you just a good person?
Is your life reflecting the change Jesus made in your heart? Or is it just showing that if you get saved you become a good person who does not do bad things, like kill or steal?
I hope that you hear my heart for you those i love the most in life my kids.. BEAN <>< keeping it MAD REAL!
Revelation 3:16 (The Message)15-16"I know you inside and out, and find little to my liking. You're not cold, you're not hot—far better to be either cold or hot! You're stale. You're stagnant. You make me want to vomit